By Joachim Osur
It was the third time I was seeing Treza in the Sexology Clinic, but I still could not figure out what her problem was. She simply said she was numb, that she felt nothing during sex.
“The desire is there; I feel like being intimate but the act is flat, tasteless, I feel nothing,” she explained. As a result, she had not had an orgasm in the seven years of her marriage.
“Get me clear, I always had an orgasm with the last boyfriend I had before I met my husband,” she clarified.
I dedicated the session to understand the beginnings of her marital relationship and how she ended up marrying Amos, her husband. Her last boyfriend before marriage was Jackson.
“So Amos and Jackson had been friends for a long time and we used to have many social functions together,” Treza said. “I am confused; didn’t you just say your husband is Amos?” I asked, impatiently.
The story was that Amos started creating opportunities to meet Treza privately. He asked her out for coffee dates.
Treza took the dates innocently, if anything Amos was a close friend to Jackson and there was nothing to fear.
“Then one evening we took coffee till late and he offered to drop me home; he stopped in a dark corner of the road and forced me to have sex!” Treza says. I nodded with understanding, encouraging her to open up and say more.
That month Treza did not get her monthly periods. She was pregnant with Amos’s baby. “I did not know how to lie to Jackson whom I loved so much,” Treza says.
“I told him the truth.” That is the last time Jackson ever talked to her. He blocked her. Her attempts to reach him through friends were futile.
“Amos was quick to apologise and to offer a hand in marriage. And because I was desperate, I obliged,” Treza says.
Over time Treza learnt to love Amos. She wanted to be a good wife and mother. It had been seven years and they now had three children.
“I healed from that first rape and it is not what has caused my numbness; it is more what happened after we moved in together,” Treza explains. Click to Read more…