By Maria Immaculate Owechi
When a brides’ wedding day is announced, they start to think about the people they would like to make up their entourage. Usually, close family members or friends come to mind, however, one may be surprised to find out that a good friend may turn out to be the worst bridesmaid in case certain behaviours are overlooked.
Brenda Mutamba, a bridal shop owner and wedding planner reveals there have been cases where longtime friendships have ended because a bridesmaid created havoc during prior preparations or on the day of the bride’s wedding ceremony.”This is why someone’s character is something you can’t afford to overlook before asking her to be your bridesmaids.” she explains.
We bring you a list of bad character traits you should watch out for before choosing your friend or family member to be your bridesmaid.
The one who loves the spotlight
There are those friends that we know very well love to be the center of attention at the slightest opportunity.
Your wedding ceremony won’t stop them from trying to stand out by choosing a different fashion of dress, hairstyle, makeup or dancing vigorously so that they are cheered on by the guests.
This is totally unacceptable because as the bride all lights should be focused on you and no should be permitted to take it away from you.
The irresponsible one
If you know one of your friends is naturally lazy and irresponsible. Someone who you have to strictly supervise to get things done. This is one person you should carefully debate about before making them part of your entourage because she will just increase your stress level.
Remember that choosing your bridesmaids shouldn’t be just about having a trail of smartly dressed ladies escorting you.
They should also be in position to take up some responsibilities to make your planning easy.
This is where you have got to choose reliable people who are willing to get out of their comfort zone to ensure everything matches the set plans.
As a wedding planner, Mutamba says she usually advises brides to delegate things like supervision of service providers to their bridesmaids to avoid the stress of doing all the running about alone.
The broke one
Commonly, bridesmaids are expected to finance their own outfits, shoes and makeup to assist the bride in cutting her budget.
If a preferred person is broke, you let them off and give them another responsibility like being an usher. This will not only help you cut the stress but also relieve her of the burden of trying to afford the needs beyond her means.
The one who keeps on asking for costs to be cut because they are experiencing financial problems.
Mutamba advises brides to ensure they have calculated the total costs of the bridal party so that they inform each bridesmaid beforehand how much they will be expected to spend.
She says this helps them to determine who is financially capable to handle the costs of the needed necessities.
The control freak
You may have that friend or sibling that always has an opinion on everything and even attempts to manipulate everyone to do things her own way.
Before such behaviour gets on your nerves, you are better off excluding such a person from your entourage.
This is because it is your day and all bridesmaids should be supportive in seeing your dream wedding come to pass without trying to force their own plans.
Cecilia Watsemba, an interior designer reveals how her big sister asked her to replace her matron few weeks to her wedding. She says this is because the sister had gotten fed up of her matron’s controlling tendencies.
The negative one
A friend who always puts down your ideas, is constantly complaining and makes the worst of everything certainly shouldn’t be a candidate for your bridal party.
This person is bound to irritate you with negativity about how the dresses have turned out, timings of the meetings and rehearsals and so many other things.
Grace Namusisi ( not real names) who preferred not to be mentioned shares of her traditional wedding where she chose her cousins to be her bridesmaids since she had few friends.
“They criticised everything from my choice of hairstyle, dress code and even complained when a program had a short set back,” she shares.
Namusisi says she failed to enjoy her wedding day because of her cousins’ constant criticism irritated her.
The jealous one
If you know of a friend or sibling who has shown you how she is jealous of your success in whichever step of your life. Including them in your bridal team is a recipe of disaster.
This is portrayed in a popular local wedding song kanokoze by Winnie Nwagi, a female musician, wherein the video one of her jealous bridesmaid tries sabotage her traditional wedding by intentionally chipping a hole in her gomesi while ironing it.
Mutamba also explains that for the case of a jealous friend it is easy to exclude them from your bridal entourage however the challenge comes when it is a sibling where the bride’s parents insist she should be her sister’s bridesmaid.
She says this is where the bride has to stand her ground against her family because a jealous sibling can do anything to see your big day ruined.
The wedding planner advises brides to select ladies that evidently share the happiness of seeing her wedding day turn out fantastic.
We listed character traits we hope as a bride to be, you will be able to spot the wrong character easily before considering her as your bridesmaid and also to use you discernment to decide which ones you can handle incase someone still holds significance as a per of your party.