By Christine Katende
“Floresta Mudondo met Brian Kangye in 2009 through an elder. He pursued her and after six months of dating, he convinced her to move in with him. Just like that, they started cohabiting.
Although Mulondo was not comfortable with the decision, she was convinced that official functions would be made at a later stage. “Before I moved in, I asked him to visit my parents, but he said he did not have enough money at that time. He promised we would make things official when he gets the money,” she says.
After 10 years of cohabiting and four children in the picture, Mulondo’s spouse seemingly has so many things on his priority list that investing money in an introduction and a wedding is the least he can think about.
“He gets irritated whenever I bring up this subject. He seems to focus on everything else except getting married the proper way. It has been 10 years of cohabiting but he is non-committal on marriage,” she says.
In a typical marriage set up, a man intending to marry would ordinarily visit the woman’s parents, express interest, ask for their blessing and pay bride price. This would be followed by an introduction or giveaway ceremony and climaxed by a wedding.
Are people becoming comfortable with cohabiting? Evelyn Kharono Lufafa, a relationship psychologist, says commitment gives a relationship a sense of direction.
Although we are taught about learning from our own experiences, Lufafa says many women find it difficult to leave someone they like and have stayed with for some time even when it is clear they are not ready to commit. Read more…