By Joan Salmon
Meeting at the beginning of 2016 as students at the Miracle Bible College in Rubaga, Kampala, the odds did not seem to point to marriage for Pascal and Samali. Samali was grieving the loss of her father and recovering from a failed relationship. It is little wonder that despite being in the same class for more than a month, none had noticed the other.
But one evening, as Pascal made his way to one of his classes, he greeted Samali, which started a friendship. “I became her shoulder to lean on. Being vulnerable at the time, I made a deliberate effort to be there for her. It was not until the close of 2016 that I asked her out on a date,” Pascal says.
Prior to joining Bible College, Samali was planning to go to China for further studies.
“I was excited and looking forward to a fresh start, perhaps because I was trying to get over a terrible heartbreak and the loss of my father. Leaving for China to study was my way to leave it all behind me,” she says.
However, the trip was never to be because she had a change of heart and instead enrolled for a two-year diploma course at Miracle Bible College.
“To date, I think this is the best decision I ever made because I would never have met my loving husband otherwise,” she says.
“Being Christians, we made a deliberate effort to honour God and abstain from sex until the day we got married. We prayed together on many occasions, attended many conferences on marriage and supported each other morally, spiritually and financially in various ways. We also went on several dates and attended some family events together,” Pascal says.
Samali adds that they also had an accountability couple who prayed for and counselled them. This, they say, made it easy to look at what was important and how to achieve it.
Venturing into marriage
Usually, while courting, we are so excited about our wedding day that we forget a wedding is different from marriage. The work and fuss that goes into the preparation would make one think the day will last forever.
After their wedding on October 5, 2019, Pascal and Samali had a few eye-openers awaiting them.
“After two years of courtship, we looked forward to enjoying our marriage. However, we had never really thought about the hardships, especially how different courtship is from marriage.
I was now faced with the fact that I had to live with this person day in day out and spend almost every minute with them. Besides, I also missed my family a lot,” Samali says.
“The thought of staying with someone except family was challenging, but I thank my husband for being supportive until I adjusted,” she adds.
Pascal says living as a couple is different from dating.
“We grew up with totally different experiences and are of different temperaments. I am extroverted and result-oriented and I make decisions promptly. However, Samali is an introvert, very organised and sometimes, a perfectionist.
She, therefore, takes her time and thinks through everything before making a decision,” he says.
To avoid pent up feelings that would affect their marriage for life, Pascal and Samali decided to use their first year of marriage to strengthen their bond of love and learn from each other. Click to read more…