Before going further in a relationship, knowing what you and your partner\u2019s expectations are is key. According to Paul Mubiru, a relationship counsellor in Mukono, in any relationship, it is never advisable to assume that your partner likes the same things you do.
\n\u201cLearn to ask some important questions before settling into any relationship, however weird or uncertain the responses might be. These questions will help you to know your position when it is still early enough,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n
What is your ideal sexual agreement?<\/strong> How do you feel about the relationship?<\/strong> How should we improve our relationship?<\/strong> What are your goals?<\/strong> How can we fix specific issues?<\/strong> What turns you off in a relationship?<\/strong> What are the biggest differences between us? What questions would you ask you partner?<\/p>\n
\nAli Male, a counsellor at YMCA, says although many people in a relationship beat around the bush when it comes to sexual matters, this should be one of the first things that partners talk about.
\n\u201cMany couples in long-term relationships never talk about their sexual agreement until they hit troubled waters,\u201d he says adding that it is helpful to talk about how often each partner would like to have sexual contact, what their understanding of faithfulness is, and other ways of staying intimately connected.<\/p>\n
\nMubiru says asking your partner to describe how they feel is a really practical tactic to determine whether the relationship has a future or not. \u201cThese statements are important because you are pointing out objectively the amount of time you have been dating and most importantly, without putting pressure on your partner,\u201d he observes.<\/p>\n
\nMargaret Tumusiime, a counsellor with Girl Talk Uganda, says there is no way you will gauge the future of your relationship if you are not examining it.
\nTo her, when one asks this question, it sheds more light on something in the relationship that may no longer be working and needs to be changed.<\/p>\n
\nMubiru says when you ask about your partners\u2019 relationship goals, you get to the reality of whether they would want to commit to you in the long run.
\n\u201cAsking about your partner\u2019s relationship goals is a question that will have your partner bewildered if they do not see you as a future partner and they will have great ideas to share if they do see you as a longterm partner,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n
\nTumusiime says it is important to talk about your triggers and what makes you mad. This she explains is a great time to use clear and honest communication to talk to your partner about what issues you both have that need to be resolved.
\n\u201cEven if you think you can handle a relationship issue on your own, bring it out in the open and discuss it with your partner for matters of being transparent,\u201d she advises.<\/p>\n
\nTumusiime adds that knowing what turns off your partner is key to avoiding misunderstandings because once you know what annoys them it will help you avoid those specific turnoffs.<\/p>\n
\nMubiru says it is important to point out your major differences and get ways of solving these differences. \u201cIt is normal for partners to have differences, but this can be rectified if you sit on a round table and discuss ways of getting rid of these differences,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n