{"id":19447,"date":"2021-10-08T12:56:36","date_gmt":"2021-10-08T09:56:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mywedding.co.ug\/?p=19447"},"modified":"2021-10-08T12:56:36","modified_gmt":"2021-10-08T09:56:36","slug":"behind-the-butterflies-when-you-have-a-crush","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mywedding.co.ug\/?p=19447","title":{"rendered":"Behind the butterflies: When you have a crush"},"content":{"rendered":"
By Chris Hart<\/strong><\/section>\n

No one ever sees it coming. One moment you\u2019re leading a perfectly normal life, and the next you can\u2019t take your eyes off someone. Even someone you shouldn\u2019t, like your best friend\u2019s boyfriend, your boss\u2019s boss, a new intern, or someone\u2019s barely-legal daughter.<\/p>\n

Everyone thinks it\u2019s only teens who crush, but actually it can happen to anyone. Suddenly a vague acquaintance starts to feel like the love of your life.<\/p>\n

You have inappropriate dreams about them, stand taller when they\u2019re around, can instantly spot them in a crowd, always know exactly where they are in the room, and position yourself so you can see them.<\/p>\n

You \u2018like\u2019 all their stuff, and if they befriend or follow you it\u2019s your best moment ever.<\/p>\n

You imagine talking with them, and the first time they notice you you\u2019re over the moon. And totally miserable if they start paying attention to anyone else.<\/p>\n

Crushes trigger huge changes in our most fundamental and powerful brain chemistry. So if a crush really kicks in, you\u2019re powerless to stop it.<\/p>\n

The changes cause the racing heartbeat, poor concentration, dreaminess, desire, excitement, nervousness and despair that people call falling in love.\u00a0<\/section>\n

They sweep away all your doubts and fears, and completely wreck your judgement. Which is why people start affairs, risking everything for something quite obviously irrational.<\/p>\n

So what\u2019s happening chemically? Your dopamine level increases, which feels so nice you\u2019ll willingly do it all over and over again, even as your life falls apart.<\/p>\n

Your serotonin level falls, which makes you obsessive, anxious and jittery, so you endless check your phone and doodle your crush\u2019s name in class. Increased norepinephrine heightens your energy, keeps you awake all night, and improves your memory. So you remember everything as vivid and awesome.<\/p>\n

Try to cool off a bit<\/p>\n

Epinephrine also increases, just like when you\u2019re frightened. So people often start to crush if they experience something scary together.<\/p>\n

Cortisol\u2019s released as you stress out, and that increases your dopamine levels still further. So instead of worrying that you\u2019ll be caught sneaking around with your boss\u2019s wife, it all feels totally thrilling.<\/p>\n

So what should you do? First, try to cool off a bit. Your judgment is poor, remember? Try not to crush on somebody who\u2019s unavailable.<\/p>\n

And if they are unattached, check for interest by glancing away quickly, then back at them. If they\u2019re watching you, their eyes will automatically follow yours and you\u2019ll end up looking at each other.<\/p>\n

Talk to them. The worst that can happen is that they say no. That\u2019s hard, but it\u2019s better to know. Because crushes collapse as fast as they start after a no, and there\u2019s loads more people out there.<\/p>\n

Whatever you do, don\u2019t start harassing someone who\u2019s not interested. That might look good in films, but in real life it\u2019s seriously weird.<\/p>\n

Instead get out there again! It\u2019s tough, and you\u2019ll probably fail again sometimes. But sooner or later you\u2019ll meet the one who really is just right for you.<\/p>\n

nyumbayangu@me.com<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

This article first appeared in Nation.Africa<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Chris Hart No one ever sees it coming. One moment you\u2019re leading a perfectly normal life, and the next you can\u2019t take your eyes off someone. Even someone you shouldn\u2019t, like your best friend\u2019s boyfriend, your boss\u2019s boss, a new intern, or someone\u2019s barely-legal daughter. Everyone thinks it\u2019s only teens who crush, but actually […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":19448,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":{"source_name":"","source_url":"","via_name":"","via_url":"","override_template":"0","override":[{"template":"1","single_blog_custom":"","parallax":"1","fullscreen":"1","layout":"right-sidebar","sidebar":"default-sidebar","second_sidebar":"default-sidebar","sticky_sidebar":"1","share_position":"top","share_float_style":"share-monocrhome","show_share_counter":"1","show_view_counter":"1","show_featured":"1","show_post_meta":"1","show_post_author":"1","show_post_author_image":"1","show_post_date":"1","post_date_format":"default","post_date_format_custom":"Y\/m\/d","show_post_category":"1","show_post_reading_time":"0","post_reading_time_wpm":"300","show_zoom_button":"0","zoom_button_out_step":"2","zoom_button_in_step":"3","show_post_tag":"1","show_prev_next_post":"1","show_popup_post":"1","number_popup_post":"1","show_author_box":"0","show_post_related":"0","show_inline_post_related":"0"}],"override_image_size":"0","image_override":[{"single_post_thumbnail_size":"crop-500","single_post_gallery_size":"crop-500"}],"trending_post":"0","trending_post_position":"meta","trending_post_label":"Trending","sponsored_post":"0","sponsored_post_label":"Sponsored by","sponsored_post_name":"","sponsored_post_url":"","sponsored_post_logo_enable":"0","sponsored_post_logo":"","sponsored_post_desc":""},"jnews_primary_category":{"id":""},"footnotes":""},"categories":[524],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[1784],"class_list":["post-19447","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-real-stories"],"authors":[{"term_id":1784,"user_id":1,"is_guest":0,"slug":"weddingadmin","display_name":"weddingadmin","avatar_url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/cd3996c46efafdc40969010bfd78c8e4dda9d99318e7dd6403983ea0dadbcfce?s=96&d=mm&r=g","author_category":"","first_name":"","last_name":"","user_url":"","job_title":"","description":""}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mywedding.co.ug\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19447","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mywedding.co.ug\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mywedding.co.ug\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mywedding.co.ug\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mywedding.co.ug\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=19447"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.mywedding.co.ug\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19447\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19449,"href":"https:\/\/www.mywedding.co.ug\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19447\/revisions\/19449"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mywedding.co.ug\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/19448"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mywedding.co.ug\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=19447"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mywedding.co.ug\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=19447"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mywedding.co.ug\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=19447"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mywedding.co.ug\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fppma_author&post=19447"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}