A couple of days ago, Ugandans on Facebook went wild when they saw a picture Christopher Thomas, formerly Princess Ruth Komuntale’s husband, posted on his Facebook wall. This picture revealed the new woman in his life, a one Halaina Johnson.
Many compared Thomas’s current wife with Princess Komuntale in terms of looks. One Facebook user commented on a picture of the two saying, “Indeed love is blind, how do you explain this to the entire world that knows how your ex looks like?”
Another wrote, “This man just wants to be the talk of the era, how do you go from a princess to …. I don’t even want to be rude.”
It must be remembered that more than five years ago, in November 2012, the kingdom of Tooro alongside various guests from different kingdoms in Uganda gathered to witness their Princess Komuntale exchange vows with African-American beau, Thomas.
The young couple attracted a lot of attention and excitement as they appeared to be deep in love. However, within just a year, the couple announced they were parting ways.
They apologized publically to their friends, family and wedding guests for not living up to their expectations and parted ways. Many were left stunned and sad about what had looked like a perfect union coming to a sudden halt.
Last year, Princess Komuntale went public about her new relationship with Qatar based Anthony Phil and after their engagement, Ugandans couldn’t hide their excitement over witnessing yet another royal wedding.
The reaction on Thomas finding a new partner however has been very different compared to that when Komuntale “introduced” Phil. There have been many negative comments towards Thomas’ new partner with hardly anyone saying a kind word towards her.
However, Johnson did not take things lying down and after the buzz, she posted a clap back stating that even though her man’s ex was a princess, she is the queen.
Many people don’t seem to be pleased with the beauty of Thomas’s current wife however, does a relationship/marriage have to entirely rotate on the way someone looks?
We asked the question on our Facebook page and this is what different people commented on the matter.
Facebook user Hillary Ndungu says looks do not matter to him either, he says he aims to always go for loyalty, level of respect and how he is being treated.
Another Facebook user also shared her opinion saying, “Looks and body fade but good character rarely does.”
A one Naluyima Femmy also commented saying, “That’s the problem with people today, they just judge the outside but the most important thing is the inside, what is inside of a person before you go ahead with them? Being pretty ain’t enough if you are not pretty even on the inside. Mind you beauty fades. You can decide to be with a person hence choosing hell on earth. Stop judging people.”
We looked at what experts say on the matter.
Here is the list of essential qualities for one’s romantic partner as compiled from Psychology Today, an online platform that offers counselling services to people.
Kindness, loyalty, and understanding (not looks, status, and excitement).
When people are asked to list the most important qualities in a potential partner, kindness, physical attractiveness, an exciting personality, and income/earning potential tend to top the list. A research done by the site found that those whose partners meet their ideals in terms of warmth and loyalty are more satisfied with their relationships. This research also found that having a partner who fell short on attractiveness, status, and excitement did not affect satisfaction if that partner was also highly warm, kind, and loyal. In other words, those more “superficial’ traits were not important at all for those whose partners were kind, understanding, and loyal.
You should seek someone similar to you. A large body of research shows that we are attracted to people who are similar to us, especially those who share our attitudes and values. And, in fact, similar couples are happier. Research has shown that couples who share tastes, interests, and expectations tend to encounter fewer conflicts. When you like the same kinds of food, movies, or hobbies, and have the same attitudes toward work-leisure balance, child-rearing, and social obligations, there is just less to fight about. There is also evidence that spouses who start out more similar in terms of educational attainment, age, and desired number of children are less likely to get divorced.
Conscientiousness is about being reliable, practical, rule-following, and organized. This may not sound like the sexiest set of traits, but it’s a good package for a long-term mate. People who are conscientious tend to bring that trait into their relationships and are more dependable and trustworthy. People who are less conscientious are more difficult to deal with in a relationship – They cancel plans, fail to fulfil their obligations around the house, act carelessly, and fall through on their promises.
The personality trait that affects our relationships most is emotional stability. Those who lack it tend to be moody, touchy, anxious, and quicker to anger — all traits that make someone more difficult to live with. Those high in neuroticism (the opposite of emotional stability) are much more likely to have negative and argumentative interactions with others, including their partners. They also tend to be more jealous and less forgiving.
The belief that relationships take work.
When you’re just starting a relationship, it’s hard to anticipate how things will change after months or years together, and how a partner will deal with the inevitable bumps in the road. But you can get a sense of how hard they will work to maintain a happy relationship and resolve conflicts. How? You need to understand their general philosophy about relationships.
That side, when you chose a lifetime partner, it is important to think about how you connect with them and appreciate the beauty that you see in them, rather than to make your decision-based qualities that may not matter in the long run.