Dr Cindy Trimm-Tomlinson
Many people ask if I had put off marriage intentionally—or if I never intended to marry, but then perhaps I changed my mind. In truth, I always wanted to be married. I grew up in abject poverty and as a child, I loved reading—Cinderella was my favorite. I loved the idea of the fairy tale couple.
I actually thought I would have been married by thirty, however, thirty came and went and by fifty-eight, I was still unmarried. But, I always believed I was marriage material, and never considered otherwise.
I am a big proponent of vision and vision boards. I write my vision for my life in twenty-year time frames. After the first twenty years past, I had accomplished everything on that particular vision except marriage. I was successful professionally and secure financially; amongst many achievements, I have served as a senator in Bermuda and built a successful business as a strategist. So, I rolled that goal over onto my next twenty-year vision. And two years into the next time frame, in 2017, my proverbial “Prince Charming” appeared.
Over the years, I dated all kinds of wonderful men, but none of them had that “thing” I was looking for. I later discovered that the “thing” I was looking for was affirmation—that my suitor would affirm me as the authentic person I was; that he would be fine with who I was as a leader, entrepreneur, and independently wealthy woman. I wanted and needed my spouse to embrace me for who I was as a thinker and problem-solver. I didn’t need confirmation because I had an extra helping of confidence already. I was not a damsel in distress. I was whole, authentic, confident, and all woman—with no “baggage.” If anything, I traveled through life with a handbag of hope and the high-heeled shoes of aspiration. I like to say that I used those high heels to break professional glass ceilings! Click to read more…