By Joan Salmon
The good book says, “So ought husbands to love their wives as their bodies.” Unfortunately, such are rare gems, yet such and more is what makes a good husband. Women always have a list of what they want in the man they will get married to. For some, he ought to be established, while others are looking at his height or physique. But there is also that man that longs to be better but is confused at what to set his sights on. Here are a few pointers on what makes a good husband…
Maria Kyaterekera has been married for more than a decade, and she says that one is a good husband if they display leadership qualities. “That calls for being reliable and having a sense of direction. He should be the kind that brings developmental initiatives that better the family status. He should also be a good role model to their children.” When a husband knows what to do and how to go about it, the wife will naturally follow with no question.
Kyaterekera adds that loyalty is always part of the package. “A good husband must be loyal to his wife at all times. For example, flirting with other women or engaging in office romance should be far from him. Loyalty also goes as far as finances are concerned because sharing the truth about what you earn means you are not spending it elsewhere that will later hurt the family.”
Evelyn C Kharono Lufafa, a counselling psychologist, says a good husband must love his wife. “Love and like are not the same as one may love but not like you. The Bible says that we love our enemies meaning that you do not do to them what you would not want done to you. However, when a husband adds liking to love, in marriage, it means he enjoys his wife’s company, protects her, and is fond of her.” That is a beautiful package that every wife desires from their husband and it means that even after several years of marriage, he is still sweet and romantic towards you.
Loving oneself is something some people may find selfish but how do you give what you do not have? Jolly Mukasa has been married for the last eight years and says a man who has self-love will care about his health thus having the best at heart for his family and is a good husband. “He will obviously look out for his wife and children, aware of the discomfort bad health brings emotionally and financially. He also understands that when he is healthy and hearty, he will better serve his household.”
Reliability is also important in as far as a good husband is concerned. “When someone is said to be a man of their word, he is reliable. Therefore, it goes without saying that a good husband ought to stand by his word, never falling back on it. Such a husband is solid and dependable,” Kharono says
Kenneth Kasalirwe, has been married for the last five years and believes a good husband ought to be independent from his parents and in-laws. “While we can always seek advice from our parents, we should not look up to them to provide for our households. We, on the other hand should be the ones to look after them. A good husband must work hard to feed, shelter, cloth and provide for his family.”
A man who knows how to manage his emotions surely makes a good husband. The most common emotion that wrecks marriages is anger. “A good husband doesn’t easily get angry with his wife, children or other people. He should also not easily get upset when there are problems or troubles. That is not forgetting being able to tolerate pain or endure suffering because he is aware that all of them are just trials that should make him stronger rather than weaker,” Kharono says.
With emotions managed, Mukasa says a good husband ought to be forgiving. “That means that revenge is not in his character, and does not keep record of wrong. That calls for living a life of letting go of the wrong one has done, and moving forward to have a happy family.”
A good husband will plan ahead for his family in terms of shelter and catering for the future of his children. Many may think that one can only plan for their family’s future if they have a big pay check but Kharono says that they ought to work around their current earnings when securing their family’s future. “You cannot plan on the basis of future projections but what is their today so that if tomorrow gets better, you are only improving your lifestyle rather than getting thrown into a frenzy.”
Apart from being dependable, Paul Bate, a married, says a good husband should be understanding. “He should understand himself and his wife, the decisions he makes and the path he is taking. That could tie in with wisdom because a wise person will be discerning of the consequences of his decisions and choices.”
Appreciating his wife for what she does for him, makes one a good husband. “Some wait for her to do big things before they say, ‘thank you’. However, when you appreciate even the small things, such as when she straightens your collar, she gets more inspired to serve and love you because she knows that her efforts will not be wasted,” Kharono intimates.
A husband may not have all the qualities but Kharono says if he can at least take care of his family, is responsible, and non-abusive, then he qualifies to be a good husband. “Nonetheless, a good husband will maintain such good qualities if he is supported by a good wife.”