My wife and I have been married for eight years and have a six-year-old daughter. However, she always insults me, my parents, siblings and relatives for no reason. Although she is a housewife, she rarely cooks for me. She is also not social and never wants to visit any of my relatives. In return, she does not want any person to visit our home. This is starting to affect our marriage and intimacy. What can I do? Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Relationships with in-laws can make or break a marriage. This is especially true if you and your spouse find yourselves in a rough patch. Tension in your marriage can be heightened by blurry in-law boundaries and how your spouse feels about your parents. If you find yourself being forced to take sides between your parents and your spouse, bringing your relationship back into proper focus can help.
Getting your immediate family into focus helps your spouse know that he and your children are your top priority. Where parents are concerned, it is easy to fall into bad habits if you have not set boundaries as a couple. If your spouse and your parents cannot get along, take time as a couple to understand where the bad feelings are coming from and what you can do to build bridges between your spouse and your parents.
In marriage, there can be no divided loyalties. When you marry and start your own family, that is where your primary loyalty needs to be for the relationship to grow and be successful.
Couples who spend too much time with their in-laws can often find themselves at odds with each other. This is especially true if your parents come over unexpectedly or call at all hours of the day or evening.
Respecting one another’s personal time within an extended family can be a challenge, especially during the early days of marriage. If your marriage is in jeopardy and the root of the problem is bad feelings between your spouse and your parents, changing the way you interact with them shows your spouse she is the most important thing in your life. Click to read more
