By Joan Salmon
Feelings of loneliness can happen to anyone and at any point in their lives, in or out of a relationship. If you are feeling lonely in a marriage or relationship, it may be time to consider the reasons why and recognise the signs of a lonely relationship.
Loneliness is when despite being in one place with your significant other, you feel awkward in each other’s company. There are several causes of loneliness in marriage and these include lack of commitment to the marriage.
“This involves trying your best to make your partner happy and being mindful of the other’s interests and meeting their needs,” Esther Nansubuga, a counsellor, says.
Too many expectations
According to Nansubuga, some people have lots of expectations from their spouse, such as, he will pick and drop me from work, he will help me with domestic chores, she will not sleep until I am home, she will always consult me before making any decision or she will stay home and raise the children. Having all these expectations makes room for contention, resentment and later, loneliness when they are not met. “It is best to have realistic expectations and create common ground to always talk about them,” Robin Kasibante, a relationship counsellor, shares.
Marriage usually results in a family which comes with several responsibilities. However, when one is always busy with work, domestic chores, and other responsibilities, it not only robs them of time to care for themselves but quality time with their spouse, making them feel lonely. “Being too busy for your significant other slowly pushes them low on your priority list to which they might get accustomed,” Kasibante says.
Failure to understand self
The beauty of understanding oneself is that one becomes aware of who they are. They learn their strengths, weaknesses, and interests while understanding their partner eases tension and expectations towards them.
When one’s spouse is the kind that thinks they are better than you in various ways, Kasibante says, it will cause friction, especially when they rub it in the other person’s face. “This leads to emotional and physical abuse, which makes the affected spouse draw back trying their best to avoid instances that cause their partner to flare up,” she says.
It is important to know the causes and signs of loneliness so one learns how to work around them. Click to read more…