Trust and Maureen Nongo were both church ministers. So, when they met, they expected dating to be easy and marriage to be even better. They had been in church for a while so they thought they knew exactly what to do. However, things turned out differently.
“It started with our courtship. We forgot all about boundaries as taught in church so we touched, hugged and kissed,” Maureen shares.
Trust says while they knew the right thing to do, boundaries were never discussed. “We also lacked mentorship. So, we had no one to share our struggles with or get guidance. I think if we had had a mature married couple to walk the journey with, it would have made a lot of difference,” Trust says.
After their wedding on January 30, 2010, the Nongos had a baby eight months later. Being newlyweds, this was a tough time, especially since Maureen suffered a lot of pregnancy-related sickness. “Also, despite the fact that we had undergone counselling, we had had a bumpy courtship. So, although married, we were always in disagreement. For starters, we discovered that we were different, from the way food was cooked, to how it was served, how we slept, and how we embraced in the morning,” Trust shares.
Maureen says immediately after the wedding, the love disappeared. “I felt that I had married a man who only cared about himself yet his caring nature had attracted me to him. I also felt that he did not listen to me, and all I wanted was him to be like me,” she says.
Trust adds that the way that they spoke, had conversations, dealt with conflict was all different. “Our differences worked against us rather than for us. I know that it was only God that took us through the first year of marriage since even our finances were bad. The only good thing was that we were committed to marriage and because God saw this commitment, he helped us walk through the fire,” Trust says.
Read more: We almost called it quits in the first year of marriage