Lhizer Khange says although she loves her husband because of different attributes, she loves him more because he does everything in his power to make their marriage work. They both believe once you are honest, then a blissful marriage is a guarantee.
By Joan Salmon
“Dating and eventually marrying Liz has taught me that Love is patient. Most times business compromises my patience but ever since we met, I have learnt that patience is a virtue,” says Benon Ssebaggala, while explaining how meeting his wife, Lhizer Khange, changed his perception of love.
Benon says he first got to know about Lhizer’s family through his aunt, who was a family friend. He adds that although he first met some members of her family, he eventually met Lhizer, leading to a friendship that later turned into dating. He attributes this to the fact that she is beautiful, selfless, prayerful and social.
Lhizer is a research officer with Restless Development Uganda and also runs a small business while Benon is a creative director.
Lhizer’s first impression of Benon was of a gentle and honest man. As she got to know him more, she was further attracted to his sense of humour. To this day, she describes him as someone fun to be around.
“I would instantly feel comfortable around him,” she says. The feeling must have been mutual because as they had back to back hangouts to talk casually and laugh about different things, they got to know each other more.
Then one day as they talked about love and relationships, Benon revealed his intentions, both short and long term. Lhizer says she was pleased because then she knew that he had her in his long term plans.
When he made his intentions clear that he wanted to have her as a life partner, Benon planned to propose to her. At one of the family parties, he felt confident to propose only to find out that the ring he had ordered was too small.
“The proposal was called off until I received the right ring,” he recounts. When he finally did, she was over the moon. In her mind, he could have easily chosen to take his time before officially proposing marriage to her.
The lovebirds got married in November 2019. “It was a joy seeing him have fun on the day. He always had told me how he could not wait to enjoy this day and he surely did. Seeing it happen brought joy to me,” she adds.
What has kept them going?
Benon attributes their journey so far to keeping communication channels open. In addition to communicating, she says that prayer and honesty have kept their ties strong.
Asked if there is anything she would wish to change about your husband or marriage, she says: “Nothing yet. Apparently, all is well.”
“We pretty-much talk about everything and this has helped us to keep up to date with both our short and long-term goals,” she adds.
Like any couple, they have their share of challenges. The fact that they are a cross-cultural couple, on occasion, they have clashed on the way they perceive or handle life situations.
“Sometimes our cultures demand that we handle things differently. Compromise on either side has been tested,” Benon says, adding that despite their cultural differences, they have learnt to be accommodative of each other through communicating openly and addressing issues as they come.
In addition, they have continuously prayed for each other and learnt to let go with ease. The couple have mutual plans.
“We plan to expand both existing businesses and also venture into new ones. Lhizer plans to further her education. Our long term plan is to work harder and save for a new home as our family expands,” Ssebaggala reveals.
The two run a joint family savings account and they ensure to deposit money on the account on a monthly basis. They also have shared financial roles with each meeting their share every end of month.
Their advice to other couples and to those aspiring to enter committed relationships is the encouragement to always have purpose, pray, follow their hearts and take time while they choose a partner. Lhizer adds that couples or those dating need to always consider giving their partners second chances where need be. They should also know where a relationship is leading.
“Do not rush into any form of commitment if you still have mixed feelings or emotions about it,” she adds.