I love my partner. But trusting him is hard. Every time my gut feeling tells me to check his phone, I find evidence that he’s being unfaithful. He leads girls on, tells them he loves them and sometimes the conversations are even more intimate than that. It’s very hurtful considering I wouldn’t even consider doing the same to him. Is there a way to make him leave these girls forever and stick to only me? How do I get him to be faithful? Amelia Hope Namusisi
Dear Amelia,
This must be emotionally draining on you and I must say you are right to feel the way you do right now. It is disappointing to learn that the person you love is taking you for granted. Human relationships can bring us the highest joy in life but at the same time, they can be the cause of deep emotional pain and mental health issues.
Love brings fulfilment and knowing that someone loves you gives you a certain psychological satisfaction that makes life feel good. That is why there is a saying that no man is an island, meaning that even when relationships have risks, we still have to have basic trust and relate to feeling human.
The love between a man and woman is erotic and therefore dependent on how the two treat each other for it to stay strong.
An ideal relationship is built on trust, openness, mutual respect, and personal freedom. Violation of trust like in this case can significantly burden an individual both mentally and physically.
Shouting and using a lot of energy may make you feel you have made a point but usually does not yield since you have no control over changing someone else’s behaviour. Lessen your frustration by dealing with your own emotions, evaluate the relationship and see if you can live with what is going on or not.
The effect on you
Now that you suspect that your boyfriend is flirting with other women, continuous checking of his phone will keep you in anxiety day in, day out and this instead affects you negatively and not him.
It is also important to know that you can only do your part as a partner but you cannot force him to leave other girls.
This is his weakness as an individual and so he has to deal with it by himself since it might be deep-rooted behaviour or even peer influence. Click to read more…
