Bride in waiting is the diary of Noelyn Nassuuna who is engaged to be married in January 2023. In it, she describes her journey to the aisle, sharing the ups and downs, and the joys and frustrations of planning her wedding.
By Noelyn Nassuuna
Ehhh! It’s been a long week! People have been reacting to the number of guests we want to have at the wedding. Many are calling us stingy, while others are saying weddings shouldn’t be costly. The pressure was a lot. I almost changed the number but then remembered that there is a life to live after the wedding, and it’s our wedding so we will do what makes us happy.
With all that done and dusted, it’s now time for me to select my right-hand team to walk with me through this journey. This is the hardest decision I have had to make so far because I have a whole village of close friends who all deserve to be on my entourage, but I can pick only 6. I wish I was like Henry, who has so many siblings; he is using only them to be his entourage.
Picking the final people to be on my entourage has been harder than I thought because of the number of friends I have. In fact, for anyone like me that has so many friends, I would advise you to decide who will be on your entourage way before you get into a relationship, so that you aren’t caught up in last-minute decisions of who should or shouldn’t be walking with you on that big day.
A few weekends ago, I happened to be a maid of honour for one of my best friends Monica, with whom I share so many things in common. I felt Monica’s wedding was my own. We have talked about what our weddings should be like and I had to see to it that she got exactly what she dreamed of or something close. Everyone kept asking me why I was not focusing on my own wedding preparations but I told them that I plan on doing so after Monica’s wedding.
“I will start my preparations after Monicas’s wedding. It’s the only thing on my mind now,” I told almost everyone who asked me when I would start working on my wedding.
The first thing I thought about was the position of maid of honour. Before picking that person, I need to know my expectations of them.
“I want someone permanent for myself. I don’t want to look at my wedding photos 10 years later and wonder where my maid of honour is. I want someone who I can turn to and talk to about my marriage and they will come through for me. I want someone who will walk with me throughout the preparations and own my wedding like their own,” I said to myself.
I then shared my expectations with my fiancé and he said, “I am the only one who can fit all those qualities. Make me your maid of honour.”
I laughed out so loud but I knew he was right because we have grown to be best friends. He is my everything. But he can’t be in that position. He is my handsome groom.
I also had a conversation with my mentor Carol Beyanga who shared with me her views of what to consider when picking a maid of honour. I think she made it easy for me because she asked me to write all the names of “the possible candidates” down and give reasons as to why I would want them to be my maid of honour or why not. This helped me to think critically about my friends.
“You need someone to walk with you and understand what marriage is about and who will take it seriously. Someone you can count on and who wants to see your marriage work,” she said.
She added, “You need someone you respect and who can advise and even show where you might have gone wrong. She is supposed to be there to show you that she is with you as you make these vows, to be your guide, your prayer partner and support in the marriage.”
Two maids of honour
I then decided to have two maid honours for my functions.
For my introduction ceremony, I decided on having as my maid of honour, the person I have been friends with for the longest time – Renata. Renata and I have been best friends since Primary One in 2002, and even when the world threw us in different directions, we have kept in touch. I don’t know what the future has for us but with her, it’s a taste of permanence. Also, we are more like family friends.
I thought deeply about who the maid of honour on my wedding day should be and zeroed down on having my sister Jacqueline. Jacqueline and I have fought all our lives and like sisters, we have disagreed on almost everything. However, when it comes to our highest moments, we are there for each other. We have grown together and none of my friends knows me like she does. I have been at my best and my worst when with her. Over time, as we grew older, we built a strong relationship and became friends, not just sisters. Also, since I’m looking for permanence, the sister relationship fits perfectly.
Now that I am sure who my maids of honour will be, I can figure out who my bridesmaids.