At times, parties in a relationship approach issues as though one is walking on egg shells, but seeking to discuss difficult issues from a place of level-headedness starts the relationship on a journey of maturing together.
For almost everyone, the ‘finding’ journey is filled with adventure, suspense, and fun. A romantic crush is a wonderful feeling. However, finding the right spouse is a very personal journey; while becoming a best-performing relationship is a torturous journey.
We should start from knowing that we are all gifted differently and that we are uniquely endowed to fulfil a certain purpose.
“The primary attitude that will help your spouse feel emotionally safe is when they believe that you understand how incredibly valuable they are to you and to your relationship,” notes Greg Smalley, a relationships expert. We should never underrate the value and gifting that our spouses bring to the table.
Choice of words
What we value we treasure. According to Jeremy Bidwell, “one way of doing this is by getting good at saying words like, “you are right,” or “you have a point,” while at the same time “avoiding the tendency to simply debate. If you get into this habit, your life at home will get better.”
We have to be good at fuelling the good in marriage by using words of affirmation. It is sad that, when one partner in marriage is threatened or intimidated by the success of the other, they turn to the use of abusive language that demeans their spouse.
However, celebrating value and gifting increases intimacy and connectedness. I read somewhere in the Bible that, “A man’s greatest treasure is his wife.” We have to be aware of the fact that treasure is discovered. We must go all out to look for it. Some may be hidden, while others may be found lying out in the open.
There are also risks in seeking out treasure, although the bottom line is that, we find it brings great pleasure.
According to Smalley, “When you validate your spouse, you recognise, value and accept their deepest thoughts, opinions, ideas, beliefs and emotions.” This perspective is basic to building a strong connection and bond. Click to read more…