My husband Peter and I have been living together for two years and have a son. When Peter was not earning much, we were peaceful and our relationship was smooth. However, ever since he got a high-paying job, his behaviour has changed. He comes back home late, drunk, and any effort to talk to him ends in a fight. When he is home, he is always on WhatsApp, Facebook or texting with friends whom he says are more important than my son and I. Should I call it quits or be hopeful that he will change? Joy
This sounds like a stressful situation you are going through. I understand that you might begin to feel insecure and wonder whether you can save your marriage. You probably would not have written to us if you did not still love your husband. Seeking help is healthy and one step to finding the best ideas and coping skills to enable you to go through this situation.
Above all, remember you are not alone. Relationships can bring the utmost happiness in life but at the same time can cause frustration and pain. We are wired for connection and so, this urge to be loved enables us regardless of what may happen to still go ahead and find someone to love.
It is also true that people naturally change depending on the circumstances. The changes can be due to mental health issues probably caused by job stress or physical illnesses. Relationships also go through stages and each stage has both positive and negative issues. For some, it can be a failure to practice self-regulation amid extreme changes in their lives including earning more than they used to. For others, it can be due to peer pressure at the workplace.
It may not be easy to tell what made your husband change but hypothetically, some of what is mentioned above might be one of the causes. You mentioned that he now comes home drunk and like I said above he could be battling a mental health issue that he has failed to come to terms with and instead decided to try and cope through taking alcohol and chatting on Facebook, WhatsApp. Click to read more