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Home Real Stories

When your family bullies your partner

Esther Nantambi by Esther Nantambi
March 19, 2021
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When your family bullies your partner
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Contrary to popular belief, bullying does not disappear along with the acne, driving courses, and standardised tests of the teen years. In fact, it continues into adulthood and can be found in just about any setting. Aside from online bullying, workplace bullying, and even sibling bullying, bullying also occurs in families among adults.

Sometimes, family bullying happens simply because the adult bully has never learned how to relate in a healthy way. Other times it occurs because the family bully wants to manipulate and control situations.

We do not discuss enough the fact that as families, we bully newcomers, especially if they come from backgrounds we are unfamiliar with. But when it comes at the cost of the wellbeing and mental health of another human being, where do we draw the line?

I know some of you have been bullied by your partners’ families in relationships/marriages. Some of you have done the bullying and in a contradiction of behaviour, some of you have managed to be both.

In this country, as an in-law outsider, you are criticised for the things that make you human. Your weight, your skills as a mother/father, your ethnic background/tribe, your educational background and more often than not your societal class.

I have witnessed relationships torn apart on the basis of “he/she is not like you; you will never understand each other because you were not raised the same.” Small tones of elitism to discourage you from pursuing love with someone simply because they are not from the same social class. Click to read me…

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