By Phillip Kitoto
Being social beings, relationships play a key role in our socio-cultural lives. Relationships provide an opportunity for a deep connection between a man and woman that may lead to marriage. Being the core unit of family, marriage provides parent-parent and child-parent association that is essential for the growth of society.
With many changes having taken place in the world over the last few decades, the family unit has endured lots of tests, leading to a new definition of marriage for some people.
Today, family dysfunctions define many families; from single parenthood, blended families to separations and abuse. Little seems to be celebrated about families. Many who have been wounded or seen their friends being hurt in relationships find it difficult to believe in the beauty of marriage. So, before we re-imagine what marriage needs to be, what is the state of marriage today? What defines today’s marriage and family?
Recently, my wife and I met a woman in her 30s who has two children from two different men. Sadly, her first child was conceived out of an intimate union with a step father who abused her when the mother was away. When she told the mother, she chose to stand with her husband.
Heart broken and being labelled a ‘malaya’ meaning harlot, she left home to live with an aunt. While there, she conceived a second child with a married man, in a relationship arranged by the auntie.
This second man abused her physically, leaving her for the dead. The cause of the fight was the discovery that this man had another wife and several other women he moved around with. When confronted, he admitted and said, “Your auntie knows everything. She wanted to get rid of you, so, I am your saviour.” Knowing that the police were after him, the man escaped to a different town, never to be seen again.
Talk about misfortune. This woman had seen it all. She was wounded and hated men with a passion. And who can blame her? Her mind and reasoning had been poisoned against men and the institution called marriage. What went wrong? Was this only due to bad choices on her part? Click to read more…