By Joan Salmon
In the early 2000s, the craze for wedding meetings hit us like a slippery fish. Centenary Park, a collection of various restaurants back then was the hub of these. At the time, people were enthused by the idea of meeting for a good cause and freely shared their hard-earned cash to make weddings happen. However, today, the idea of marriage seems to be losing its value in the eyes of couples with their eyes set on the event; the wedding and not much on the life thereafter. Still, wedding meetings hold for all couples.
KS Brian, a social media influencer has seen the fraud in these wedding meetings and he writes:
“You gather us into a WhatsApp group. Talk us into funding your wedding. It starts as a request, then becomes aggressive with fines for coming late to wedding meetings. We oblige because love wins. Who doesn’t want a happy ending? We fund the kukyala, bridal shower, kwanjula, the wedding and marriage ntandikwa (loosely translated to mean start-up)….”
Looking back, the functions were not as big as they are today. May be that is why people willingly gave. Today, the bridal shower alone could fund an entire wedding in the past.
KS Brian adds,
“…. Then before the WhatsApp group even disintegrates- before random strangers in the group meet up and have sex, we hear that you cheated on your wife with your maid or that the wife slept with her boss. All that energy we invested! You people….”
Lately, people tend to be more interested in the function than the marriage. Marriage is looked at as a contract rather than a covenant. It is done in the sense of, “if I don’t get what I want, I am out.” However, how much have you invested in? Is separation what you had at the back of your mind from the beginning?
Many people are incensed by the influx in marriages that are failing on flimsy issues after they have dug deep into their pockets to help the functions happen.
That is why KS Brian says,
“….We are going to use the same WhatsApp group to mobilise, come over and give both of you kibooko (canes). Temugenda kuzzanyiranga ku budde bwa bantu (loosely translated to mean- you cannot play with people’s time)…..”
Imagine, the messages that come in starting from Monday as reminders, followed by phone calls a few days to the big day. For the sake of people sharing their sweat and blood with you, you should practice re-visiting your vows.
“…Economy mugiraba (You can see the economic situation). People give you their bu (small)-savings so your love story thrives and you sleep with the driver in 6 months? We exhaust our savings then hear the kid failed the DNA test?
“We shall sue you for acquiring money under false pretense.”
Reacting to KS Brian’s post on Facebook many agreed with his sentiments.
Sarah Heights Osinde said,
“I am quite selective on whom I contribute for, and it is always out of love not responsibility because I am not to have a share in your marriage or home. I feel like kusondera (contributing for) people for their marriage ceremonies no longer sits well with me. They wake up, draw extravagant budgets which they cannot fund even halfway and they are so ready to pin it on people to contribute. You cannot love lavish when you cannot afford lavish. I have seen people do simple ad beautiful ceremonies with no single arm strained in the process to support the budget but some fellas out here think theirs should compete for world genius records. There is life after weddings, introductions and whatever it is. I really thought the pandemic had taught people something, unfortunately, they learned nothing and forgot nothing. Now, to the cheating bit, it even gets spicy when they cheat with one of the members of the organising committee; clearly, they will have a reason to roll with your wife or husband because it was their money.”
Fredrick Wece added, “Respect our sacrifices and contributions, dear newly marrieds.”
Angel Amooti on the other hand said,
“Couples should contribute more that 80% of the budget they create. I can’t stand that pressure and entitlement.”
Some people however said they do not mind what the couple does post-wedding.
Isaac Oketcho commented,
“Nedda (No) boss, your funding was accounted for as soon as the vows were made. The rest is none of your business.”
Bryan Aiton Kajimu also said whatever happens with the couple after the wedding is none of his business,
“I do not attend wedding meetings. I contribute [to the wedding] then attend it. Ebirala sagala kumanya (I don’t want to know about the aftermath).”
Some playfully defended some aspects of the post.
About the failed DNA tests, Emmanuella Ikire commented,
“Nedda taata (No sir). Kids are being exchanged in the labour ward. I swear.”
In all, it is important for couples to respect marriage, their commitment to each other, and the efforts made by their friends to support the success of their union.